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Jan. 3rd, 2017

great googa mooga


I'm 23 years old in the year 2017, posting on this relic. Allow me to give a small update...

~ I am currently on winter break from college. I made all A's and B's last semester, and I graduate this spring!! (Redemption Bitch)

~ I still get crushes on my teachers, must be a fetish... haha

~ I have never been so happy in my life!

~ I have been dating my best friend, Nikolas, for almost four years now. :)

~ I have lost approximately 80 lbs. since 2012.

~ I have experienced much and learned much from it.

But yeah I had to let this electronic journal know that although I left on such a sour note, now I am in such a special and fun time of my life! I'm just really trying to enjoy it. Everyday.

Mar. 10th, 2012

I can't.

Okay, so, community college kicked my fucking ass.

I thought I was a grown up and could dick around with my friends instead of going to class or get away with not doing my homework like in high school...

Much to my chagrin I failed. Every. Class.

I wish I could say it wasn't for lack of trying, but that's EXACTLY what it was. I just kept falling further and further behind until eventually I just stopped showing up.

I'm so ashamed of myself...
I tried to write it off with the popular 'Ijustdon'tgiveafuck' attitude...but in reality, I give a fuck. I give LOTS OF FUCKS. I can't believe I did that.

I hate myself for it...

Sep. 7th, 2011

I miss my best friend.

I feel like I don't have any real friends anymore.

I have people to talk to in my classes who I consider friends but I feel like I'm not their first choice.

Like Nik for example, We have four classes together and we talk and text and laugh together pretty much everyday but I feel like if given a choice to hang out with me or Briane...he would pick Briane.

I hate this feeling of being closer to someone than they feel to you...it hurts. He is pretty much the only friend I have at school but he has Briane and Raven. I thought Briane was my friend but she seems to not want anything to do with me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong. Is it because I don't smoke? I don't want to be that person anymore. Is it because I never have money? Is it because I'm not as open as everyone else? Am I just not fun? Is it because I'm just some lame, naive virgin? Are you just embarrassed to be seen with me? It makes me so insecure which doesn't help with any of my problems.

I'm always there for everybody else, but who's gonna be there for me? I used to have Skylar, but we never see each other anymore. Same with Christin, Tyler, and Sydnee. Sydnee will always be my best friend but she's busy with her own life with her boyfriend and another baby on the way.

I just feel so utterly alone.

Aug. 17th, 2011


I've only just now realized that pretty much every guy I've *liked* for the past four years has either sang and/or played an instrument...

ALL of my exes sang AND played an instrument or two.

Then of course there is Mr. Kern, the love of my life. lol He also did both.


Aug. 16th, 2011

My heart hurts.

Why are old men the only people who find me attractive?

Jul. 30th, 2011


I feel like this summer has been a waste.

I've done nothing but sleep the day away and sit on my ass...I feel like I'm missing out on my youth! I thought this summer was supposed to be legendary. My last chance to really be a kid and make stupid mistakes that will teach me a lesson or at least make for a funny story. What's that phrase? "Old enough to know better but too young to care"? That's what I wanted for this summer. I guess I could have done something about it but if my friends don't want to text me and invite me places with them I'm not going to impose myself on them. If they wanted to see me they would. Just like if he wanted to talk to me he would but he hasn't, not all summer so I guess he doesn't.

I truly am pathetic.

Jul. 7th, 2011


Ethan: You know, we haven't had sex yet.

Me: What about that one time?

Ethan: Which time?

Me: You know...that one time. haha

Ethan: The time with the badger?

Me: Was it a badger? I thought it was a tasmanian devil...

Ethan: Either way, I loved the way it ripped my dick to shreds with it's huge claws.

Me: Yeah, that was pretty erotic.

Ethan: Indeed.
What about the way it pierced both of your tits with it's razor sharp bloody teeth?

Me: I got a really sexy infection.

Ethan: Yeah super teeth to tit herpes.

Me: The scars are a constant reminder of that wonderful, bloody night...

Ethan: I never want to forget it it was amazing.

Me: I don't think we'll ever have another night like that. Not after the police arrested us for animal abuse. So worth it though...

Ethan: It was. It's been nice talking to you. I'm going to watch a movie.Goodnight.

Me: Goodnight.

Normal conversations are too mainstream.

Jun. 27th, 2011

I won't cry for you

I saw a drag show.


May. 19th, 2011

To do... XD

Make a note to use the phrase "Don't forget to fuck yourself on the way out." because it will make you sound like a total B A D A S S. lmao


I don't like the way I said "countenance" and I didn't hold out a note quite as long as I should've. But other than that :D.

May. 16th, 2011


I've matured so much over the past couple of months it seems...

May. 10th, 2011

STFU, Go-bot.

Elias: Since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God, Randal!
Randal Graves: No sir. They are not a gift from God. They are an unholy curse from the beast we call the Desolate One.
Elias: I don't really want to hear this Randal.
Randal Graves: The First of the Fallen. The Spoiler of Virgins, the Master of Abortions!
Elias: You know I don't like to talk about dark forces Randal.
Randal Graves: [singing into P.A. microphone] Let me help you out of your chair, Grandma!
Jay: [climbing through the drive-thru window] Grandma what was it like? To be on a holiday site?
Randal Graves: Late that night I awoke from my sleep.
Jay: Hearing! Unknown! Voices!
Randal Graves, Jay: Laughing insane!

May. 4th, 2011

May the Fourth Be With You...

Did I mention Prom was AMAZING. lol

May. 2nd, 2011


Apr. 21st, 2011




Apr. 13th, 2011

What the friggity fuuuck.

Today I went to Lane Bryant, which is a specialty store for larger chested women. I needed to exchange two bras I had ordered off their website because they were much too small.

I ordered a 38 DD.

So they have free fittings and the lady is measuring me and suggests that I should try out their 40 D or 42 C...


Those did not fit whatsoever so they measure me again and the nice lady says to me, "This might shock you but I think you're an F."


Well, I try one on and lo and behold, it fits perfectly. I never would have guessed to be honest.

They weren't lying when they said that most women wear the wrong sized bra.

Apr. 11th, 2011

Oh yes.


Apr. 8th, 2011

A Glimpse

Fragments of ideas float around my brain as I tirelessly try to fit them together. With so many words in my mind, I am always afraid of writing them down improperly. Or forgetting them in the first place.

I cannot seem to write fast enough because somehow a thought always gets lost.

Apr. 7th, 2011

I love these things. :D

Click to view my Personality Profile page

Apr. 2nd, 2011


“Daddy, I had a bad dream.”

You blink your eyes and pull up on your elbows. Your clock glows red in the darkness - it’s 3:23. “Do you want to climb in bed and tell me about it?”

“No, Daddy.”

The oddness of the situation wakes you up more fully. You can barely make out your daughter’s pale form in the darkness of your room. “Why not, Sweetie?”

“Because in my dream, when I told you about the dream, the thing wearing Mommy’s skin sat up.”

For a moment, you feel paralyzed; you can’t take your eyes off of your daughter. The covers behind you begin to shift.

“Baby, just you shut your mouth…”

David Bowie erupts from the covers, tossing your dead wife’s skin aside like one of his famous stage costumes. “David mother-fucking Bowie!” you and your daughter scream in unison.

“This ain’t rock n’ roll… This is GENOCIDE!” he screams, materializing a flaming guitar out of the ether and into his hands. He proceeds into a jam session that results in a horrific block fire, killing 37 people and was hailed by Rolling Stone as the greatest concert of the decade.

* * *

A few years ago, a mother and father decided they needed a break, so they wanted to head out for a night on the town. They called their most trusted babysitter. When the babysitter arrived, the two children were already fast asleep in bed. So the babysitter just got to sit around and make sure everything was okay with the children. Later that night, the babysitter got bored and went to watch TV, but she couldn’t watch it downstairs because they did not have cable downstairs (the parents didn’t want children watching too much garbage).

So, she called them and asked them if she could watch cable in the parent’s room. Of course, the parents said it was okay, but the babysitter had one final request… she asked if she could cover up the David Bowie statue outside the bedroom window with a blanket or cloth, at the very least close the blinds, because it made her nervous. The phone line was silent for a moment, and the father who was talking to the babysitter at the time said, “Take the children and get out of the house… we will call the police. We do not have a David Bowie statue.”

All of a sudden an electric guitar cut through the air. “KEEP YOUR ‘LECTRIC EYES ON ME BABE!” howled a voice from outside. The babysitter dropped the phone and ran to the window. “David Fucking Bowie!” she screamed, watching the statue as it came to life, shredding chords on its electric guitar. “Put your ray gun to my heeeeeead!” The babysitter ran the children outside where they watched an impromptu Bowie concert that was so awesome that afterwards the children had sweet dreams forever more and the babysitter was given a bonus for her efforts.

Apr. 1st, 2011


I've had a crazy week! Monday it fucking snowed and school was closed...WTF! It was MARCH. It was also Tyler, Briane, and Lady Gaga's birthday! :D Tuesday I had to go to J. W. Adams for Music in Our Schools Day or something along those lines, missed another day then...damn you chorus lol. Wednesday I got high for the first time all year. Thursday, got high again...but while we were all sitting in the truck in the cemetery, the fucking battery dies. It starts snowing AGAIN. It could not have been timed any worse. We had to call somebody to see if we could get a jump thinking we had our own jumper cables, guy gets here, we pay him in weed for his troubles, BUT we find out much to our dismay we have no cables. It's okay though because dude does! :D But guess what? It doesn't fucking matter because it didn't fucking work! So we are sitting there freezing our asses off in a truck that won't start, in the dark, in a GRAVEYARD, high as a kite pretty much.

Needles to say, we were all FREAKING OUT. lol It was horrible. I was so scared! I thought Slender Man was going to come out of the woods and do whatever Slender Man does...and I didn't have $20 so we would have been fucked. More so fucked than we already were...

Anyway, we tell guy to leave because we called a friend to just pick us up. She gets here, already with another person with her so we squeeze four more people in her tiny silver car and GTFO...thankfully I lived close by.

Finally, today I watched one of my favorite movies in English, took an exam in my Office Specialist class, practiced for the first time for the mother-effing TALENT SHOW in chorus, and didn't go to Sociology because I stayed backstage until it was my time to shine. lol Well we ended up CHANGING what song we were going to do like an hour before hand and got out there, killed it (in a good and bad way, we sounded great but I messed up some words. My mind just went completely blank up there. -.-) and the crowd ate it up. :)

Now it's Spring Break and I can relax... Yay! :P

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